Happy Fecking Birthday!

Ahoy there! And what a fecking hilarious welcome into my 31st year. 

Here's the gist, not in any particular order, but all happened today.

• Bubbles thrown all over the kitchen by a hysterical 4 year old with a phobia of ants. Ant on the bubble tub, daughter saw the ant, screamed and launched the bubbles. Cue frothy mess all over the kitchen. Granted, it needed a scrub anyway, but I did not want to be forced into it on my birthday!
• Crushed globe jig-saw by the same daughter. After being told "don't roll it or throw it treasure it'll break." And "It's not like a ball, it won't bounce." Daughter pretends it's a chair instead (naturally!) and caves it in with her petite little bum. Repairable but a serious pain in my own arse to get the last piece in. Still not succeeded.
• Nappy water bowl launched across the bedroom by me, accidental, not temperamental, fecking king size duvet on a double bed! Too much swishing about and SPLASH!
• stubbed toes from myself and my daughter on the ladder in the bathroom, (of course, where the hell else do you want me to keep my ladder?)
•  and finally I forgot to put the effing jeffing bins out this morning so that will be nicely festering by next week especially if the weather hots up.

However, I did get to see the whole thing through wearing a brand new pair of Converse All Stars (apart from the toe stubbing where i was going commando,)  and with a belly full of KFC, Thornton's Moments and brews in my very own 'Star Mum' giant mug. Yummy! I also had a little surprise birthday cake which was great. Lets face it, what is a birthday without cake? Oh, and family of course ;D

Day Status: Busy!

Hello and welcome! 

Goodness me. Today was one of those days. The kind of day when you just don't manage to even get a hot brew down you. The morning specifically. I shall go through the morning in bullet points if you don't mind. Would you care to join me? Please do. Grab a cuppa, (preferably hot!) and read along with me.

1. Wake up - obviously
2. Make a brew
3. Hear the baby stir - stir brew have a sip. Brew Status: Hot
4. Change and feed baby - eldest enters the room.
5. Prepare eldest's brekkie - Some chocolate malarkey, bad parenting.
6. Sip brew - Brew status: tepid
7. Get self dressed - long loose top and jeggings. Jeggings status: Up.
8. Dress eldest in freshly laundered uniform - not off of the bedroom floor, good parenting.
9. Sip brew - Brew status: cold. Nuke it. (Microwave it for those who no not this term.)
10. Sip Brew - Brew status: Hot again.
11. Sort family hair - me: Messy with Fudge Shaper, Husband: ponytail, he did it himself clever boy. Eldest: French plait. I did it, clever girl.
12. Load baby into pram, put sun cream on and gather school tit bits - Jeggings status: slightly lower.
13. Sip brew - Brew status: tepid again. Bollocks!
14. School run - Jeggings status: gathering at knees.
15. Home again, hug baby and put him in chair with toys.
16. Plug in iron and put kettle on.
17. Make brew, sip it -Brew status: hot.
18. Start ironing, burn elbow - Iron status: Really fecking hot!
19. Finish ironing, sip brew - Brew: status cold. Give up on brew, pour glass of orange juice.
20. Take baby upstairs, sing silly songs and cuddle him.
21. Lay baby on the bed - bad parenting. 
22. Fetch ironed clothes - swear at iron on passing. It remains un-forgiven for the burn.
23. Put clothes away and sing to baby - Jeggings status: way down!
24. Clean bathroom, change baby and hoik up jeggings - jeggings status: uncomfortably high. Must get new pants.
25. School run part 2 - hug daughter, get home, make sarnies of choice.

And that was just the morning. Cold brews, hot iron and tight pants, what a day! The afternoon brought more mayhem of course. My girl choked on a grape and fell down the stairs! Fortunately only a bruised bum is left to remind her to hold onto the banister. Poor lass. And all I've managed to do between playing and soothing bruises and shock, is feed my baby and do a few loads of washing, all the while practically dehydrating from my lack of hot brews!

I reckon tomorrow will bring more of the same. Not that I mind of course but I really would like a ho cuppa. I think that's the only thing I miss from having the wee 'uns. Still, if that's the only thing missing from my life, along with the lottery win I've been craving, then I don't reckon I'm doing too badly. 

I'm falling asleep over the keyboard here, probably from lack of tea, so I'm thinking I need to wrap it up. I want to write about my allotment because I'm so chuffed with how things are going on it. Most of my veg are flourishing, but well, that's for next time. 

Toodlepip all. Good morning or sweet dreams depending on the time!

Thrill Seekers!

   Hullo there reader! After doing a spot of cleaning the other morning -nothing major just pots, ironing, squirted a bit of polish so it smelled like I'd done some- I decided to phone sister number three of the first batch to see if she and the kids wanted to meet me and my brood for a wee wander. The answer was positive and the plan was to walk and meet up half way. We stuck to the plan and did indeed walk and meet halfway, the halfway line being The Dock Museum of Barrow in Furness, Cumbria. 

    We said our Hello's, and complained about the heat as we trundled along Channelside walk. We admired the lavender which smelt lovely, as we approached Jubilee Bridge. All very tame and normal until.... there came the simply WILD behavior.

  Well my family are obviously adrenaline junkies. We have clearly set a new bar on devil-may-care activities. What did we do? Be patient and I shall tell you. Bungee jump? No. Sky dive? No. Waiting on Jubilee Bridge for a bus to come and make it jolt? Abso-bloody-lutely!!! We take it to a new level of thrill seeking. I should have been more careful of course, involving my offspring, sibling and niece and nephew-ing, in such a reckless activity but hey, I've used it before and I'll use it again, that's just how I roll. 

Oh Look! I actually do bake bread.
Just absolutely not first thing in the morning.

   Nothing else of great importance has been happening over the past couple of days, just the normal day to day malarkey. You know the sort of stuff, waking up get the kids fed, washed, dressed. Put a wash load on, peg the wet stuff out, make pack ups, bake fresh bread and cakes etc. Hahaha! I'm obviously lying through my teeth here, I think we can all safely say that I'm a bare minimum kind of woman. And talking of teeth, I'm lucky if mine get scrubbed before 9:10 a.m! If they don't, I just have to make sure I don't smile or chat on the school run. (Cue thoughts of "ignorant, sour faced cow.") I then have to make time for chin wagging on the pick up,  (cue thoughts of "weird, schizophrenic cow") to catch up on the parent gossip. I have to say though, I've never been to school in my pj's, I mean, you've got to set some standards for the children haven't you haha!

   That my friends is about all I have to share at the moment. I'm off on the hunt for some other Mum and craft blogs.

   Toodleoo!

    

I'm going Bald!!

   That's right people, I'm losing my hair. I'm telling you, it's not like I haven't got a high enough forehead to begin with, I've now been graced with an extra half inch for goodness sake. It happened after my first baby too. Everything is great for about 3 months, then suddenly the bath water drains a hell of a lot slower and you start picking rather long hairs out the crack of your butt. Oh believe me, it's every bit as attractive as it sounds.
 I googled it, (postpartum hair loss, not hairy bum picking) something about your follicles going dormant because they don't rest while you're pregnant, hence the luxuriant locks you get during pregnancy. Children have a lot to answer for, it's a good job my boy is cute bless him.

   Mind you, it's probably a good thing this hair loss malarkey, it's prompted me to get a long overdue haircut. (Just trying to find the silver lining here!) It's about time I had a spot of pampering so I have booked in for the weekend. A cut and colour with a compulsory fringe to camouflage the receding hairline. They better do a good job as well, they're charging me 70 quid! Still at least it only takes about 8-12 months to rectify itself and start growing again. I can then go back to not bothering with haircuts and looking like a bedraggled, land bound mermaid, with only hair and shells to cover my lady lumps. Oh yeah, that's how I roll!

   Well readers, that is about the gist of today's session. Short and sweet, much like my hair will be after the chop! 

    If this is happening to anyone else.... just thank whatever gods you believe in that it isn't your teeth! That's what I'm doing.

Toodleoo!

Bloody Housework!

   Honestly I know not where to begin. My house is and looks like it shall ever remain... a shit hole. Pardon my colorful language choice but blimey. Kids in the house means a constant flow of toys, games, craft materials etc. all over the floor. I have to admit, I'm a big contributor to this constant flow, but that's OK in my eyes. Because I'm the one who has to clean and tidy, I definitely get to make mess. It's only fair.

   Please see exhibit A rather delightful example of what my beautiful daughter leaves for me after a play session. This, and I quote "Mummy, I like making a mess!" Really? I had absolutely NO idea. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually the kind of person who laughs at this sort of thing. As long as no little pieces go missing, (Note, all boxes are still lidded.) then I am fine. We all have a giggle, tidy up then wait for another tornado to hit tomorrow. Fortunately my husband is also of this temperament, so that saves a whole lot of family aggro.

Exhibit A 

   One particular thing that my husband does that winds me up, has to do with the bath. He NEVER rinses the bath around. I don't know why it irks me so much but it really does. Still, if that's all I've got to whinge about then well, I really shouldn't be whinging should I? 

   I really do need to get back on track with the housework. Since having the wee lad I've been slacking. I can't even blame it on the baby because 98% of the time he's brilliant. I need to formulate a plan of action. A chart perhaps of what needs doing and when etc. Or I should stop writing list's and compiling charts about cleaning and actually pick up a flippin' duster! That way, something might actually get cleaned. NO, I don't think so.

   It's My daughter's sports day tomorrow, one thing I absolutely hated when I was at school even when I was really young. I was very aware that I was utterly crap at all sports available on sports day and I've come to terms with it. I mean, I'm 4 foot 11.75 inches tall,  pear shaped, with zero tolerance for competitive streaks. So anything more energetic than tiddly winks, is completely off the table. 

   I digress. This bit's about my daughter and there I go whinging on again.

   I really can't wait to see her  play. She's told me she'll be running really fast and she going to win! (Well she doesn't get that from me!) Good God! I hope they don't make me do the egg and spoon race again!

  

 Well, as I appear to be nodding off at the computer desk, I'm thinking I should probably sign off. So cheerio one and all and take it easy!

Good Clean Fun

 After functioning on very minimal sleep yesterday, I'm actually quite proud of myself. I managed to get nothing done which is what I set out to do.
 I nearly had a parental blip though. I bathed and dressed my little girl, dried and plaited her hair, breakfast ready then remembered that she needed to be wearing black. Queue massive hunt for some form of mini goth clothing. Fortunately my mother had just brought her a black top the other day, and girls of all ages own a pair of black leggings, especially a girl like mine who happens to be a dirt magnet. So after a mild panic we still managed to get fed, watered and changed, ready and out of the house on time. Hooray! Other than the mini 'drama noir' nothing at all eventful occured.

 Today after I took my girl to nursery, I had a big ol' ring round to see who will be paying my maternity pay. I read a work letter through only to find out that I'm earning £7.00 less than I should be in order to get SMP but I'll still be entitled to maternity allowance, I know I'll be getting paid just not who by just yet. Midwife appointment has been booked to obtain the wondrous form that everyone seems to need a copy of, my stomach is in a mini knot and will be until I've got it in black and white exactly how much I'm entitled too, and who I shall be receiving it from. I felt very grown up researching on the net and making phone calls to my firm with my special new laptop in front of me.

I realise this is the wrong angle.
Does it make the pile smaller?

 After doing all my business like grown up stuff, I had to face up to another grown up task...... the dreaded CLEAN! I've been so good today you wouldn't believe.
 I went for a wander up town to get some money, and formulated a plan of action. I was probably talking to myself in the process. After i went to the bank, i trotted off to Wilko's to get myself a new mop and bucket, I'm just thoroughly spoilt aren't I?! Now my bump is getting bigger I just can't face getting on my hands and knees to scrub my laminate throughout the whole bottom floor so a mop and bucket is definitely the way forward. My bottom floor is now tidy, extra clean and smells absolutely wonderful. I even bleached my kitchen bin. Next step.....ironing. (yawn.)

 Back to work tomorrow boo hoo. Still it's only for a couple of weeks then I'm off again. I've got loads of hols booked for this time of year which is brill because it's my fave. Autumn walks in the forest, finding leaves and doing sticking with my girl, visiting Blackpool lights and getting chips on the prom, Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night and finally Christmas. You're off your rocker if you don't love this time of year, even the air smells better. It's just the best.

 Well, I'm off to bed shortly as I'm up at the crack of dawn. My husband has gone out for the evening and so he shall find a wonderful surprise in his side of the bed upon his return, in the shape of a 3 year old girl. Sleep tight one and all.

I Love It How A Plan Never Comes Together

 Well here I am typing at 5:15 in the morning. My little girl woke me up from a not so deep sleep at 3:30 for a wee, then she went back off only to wake again from a bad dream at 4:15 bless her. I went in her bed with her for about 30 minutes but you just really cannot get comfortable in a single bed at my age, so I crept out of her bed and came down stairs for a brew. Then I spotted our new family laptop and decided to have a wee shot on it, hence finding myself on my blog.

 With the early rise and all I've been having a think about the baby coming and such. I have absolutely nothing at all ready and I'm not even sure If I'm on the right pay level to acquire maternity pay, obviously I'll be getting it from somewhere but it's a form filling nightmare which I really need to look into. I'm halfway through the pregnancy now and I haven't got so much as a baby grow out the spare room. (Inner scream! far too early to subject the neighbours to my neurosis yet.) If there is anyone out there who is as completely unorganised as myself, please let me know. I need tips on how to become mother number 1! Well, we all know there is no such thing as that, but I'd like to improve nonetheless.

 (Another wake up from my daughter, not having a good night bless her.)

 I had a little flick through Emma's Diary, but that's really just list upon list of things that I need, haven't got and got no cash to buy. I really should've been more prepared for this. You think, "well I managed last time, we brought everything we needed." Yes, but we didn't already have another mouth to feed! Holy mackerel this is a pickle but the main thing is not to panic. (Queue panic attack anyway!)

 I think I'm going to have a scan through the spare room and see what unisex things I can salvage from my girl being a baby. That shouldn't be too much of a problem because I know I saved all the white's, the things that weren't stained with poo anyway. And there is definitely my lovely moses basket that I can freshen up. I'm definitely going to get a new pram/travel system because our old one is knackered. I'm not a driver so it was very well used. It was a pram/buggy/car seat, the works and I used every attachment to death.

 As far as feeding goes I'm going to breast feed, I did with my first and I shall with this one. It's cheap, always on hand, (or boob!) and I make it so I may as well use it for as long as I can. Well, six months anyway, when I wean onto food, I wean off the boob.

 This shouldn't be too hard to accomplish should it?

 Famous last words! I am the original disaster area so I'll keep you posted as to how my plan comes together, and it doesn't always, I'm not the bloody A-Team after all.

 

Clinging to My Youth!

What a blow! Tomorrow I reach the big 30! No grey hairs yet but the wrinkles are etching their way onto my forhead, around my eyes and on my filtrum believe it or not. I haven't stooped to buying any "miracle" creams yet, and I'm far to fraidy cat for botox. I'm doomed to grow old gracefully and look whatever age I look.

My husband and I have decided to try for another baby, 30 is still a good age, still got a good bit of spring in my step. My Mum was popping out children until she was 45 (I think) and she's still coping. I think 2 is going to be my limit though. I come from a massive family myself, I'm the eldest of 8. I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers and there is never a dull moment! I have to say I love it. I was thinking the other day how nice it is just having my girl but then my head clouded and i got a bit deep. I started asking myself questions like "When I die who will help her with the funeral?" and "Who will she talk to? I can't let her do that all on her own!" Good God, parenting can be so morbid at times. Obviously I don't think she's going to grow up a total loner recluse, my Dad's an only child and he's the worlds best host, he has loads of friends and will laugh and joke with whoever but I just don't know what I'd do without my brothers and sisters. If I have problem's, need a baby sitter or just want a good gossip, there's always one available on the end of the phone. I need to give her somebody to grow up with I think, it'll be good for her. Oooo! Is this my wisdom coming to me because I'm closing my 30th year?

Another celebration subject..... Christmas! Yes I realize it's only July, (I know that because it's my birthday tomorrow whoop whoop!) but I'm going for an amazing fully hand crafted room this year, and I need to plan early if I'm going to get all the tinsel, card and sticky backed plastic that I'm going to need for this seasonal wonderment! I can't wait for me, my girl and my husband (under protest) toget stuck into salt dough stars, popcorn garlands and gingerbread angels all on the tree. Been looking at some lovely retro Christmas books from the library with things in it like sewing your own stocking, making dried fruit baubles and things, really lovely. I now the net is a fountain of information, but sometimes a book is just.... better. The Ultimate Christmas by Jane Newdick has some lovely ideas. My head is obviously seasonally pickled. All this weird weather has my inner calendar confused. OR IS IT MY AGE??!! Well, at least I'll be full of idea's for Yule and if I find some crafty bargains, I'll be sure to let you know. If I get around to doing any of these things is a story for another day.

A Happy Moment

I've had such a wonderful coulpe of days. I can't really recall the order in which most of the events took place but I have a general Idea.

On thursday I recieved a message from an old friend saying;

  "Hello Kyla. I passed you before with your gorgeous little girl, holding hands and skipping at the bottom end of Greengate street. You made my day mate, you both looked so happy and carefree, it brought a smile to my face and a lump to my throat. Had a tough week work wise but you brightened my day so thank you you lovely mummy you xx"

   It was so lovely it brought a tear to my eye. My friend works as a social worker, mostly with children and I appreciate that it must be quite hard to stay positive at times dealing with the things that she has to, and even knowing that such horrible things go on in the world, so I'm glad I could brighten her day. There are some good parents out there, I'm certainly not saying I'm the best but I do try to be good. We may not have all the money we'd like but you don't need money to have a good skip to the library hey?! Loads of fun.
   Talking of skipping to the library, when we arrived there needless to say, we picked out some books. Little'un opted for a story about peas and I opted for a one pot cookery book, this suggests the truth about the family....we all have a good appetite!

  
  On saturday my husband had gone out from early afternoon until early hours of this morning. He's in a band and so gigs fairly regularly, last night was one such gigging night.

   My little woman and I had a whale of a time and didn't miss him one bit! Well maybe a little. We started off with dancing, my daughter's music of choice is a bit of metal especially anything by early Sepultura, whenever i put 'Roots' on, she goes absolutely crazy and I tend to follow suit. After a spot of groovey moving, it was finally decided that we should have hotdogs, fries and baked beans for tea, but sit on our new picnic blanket in the lounge with it to make it that extra bit fun.
  After that heavy bout of decision making, we then played ball rolling in the living room for a while and I have to you that I find that one of the most therapeutic games ever! No stress just pure fun and I don't know what's so funny about it, but me and my girl don't half giggle. While we were playing that, (with me darting back and forth to the kitchen warming hotdogs and buttering bun's etc.) there was a knock on the door, a bit of a random really. Some fella had moved in two doors down from me, and asked if he could borrow a pint glass?! A strange request, one which I had to decline as I don't actually own one. I have plastic tumblers, halloween tankards, and a few crystal wine glass', which were one of my wedding pressies, so I'm not lending them out to strangers. So I had to send him on his merry way without one.
  Well, me and the girl had our fabulous hotdog indoor picnic and loved it. This was follwed by a desert of buckaroo, frustration, many of our library books being read and a very late night! Extremely bad parenting at 9:45pm, but we were having too much fun to be bothered by such trivialities.

  This morning was also doubly good. Not only was it the first day of my holiday, not having to get up at 4:45 in order to get scrubbing a supermarket, it was also seen in by my husband whipping down to Morrisons for all ingredients needed for a good full English, we are not a vegetarian household so it involved lots of meat! Sausages, bacon, eggs, black pud, mushrooms, hashbrowns, beans and a slab of bread and butter. Lush! He was promptly forgiven for having a social life the night before.

The Egg and Spoon Race!

Let me begin with my daughters Sports day. It was actually the day before yesterday but I'm getting around to it now. I tend to delay things in life, so my blog is obviously going to be no different at all. If I was a super hero, my name would be.... (in a silly voice please) The Procrastinator!!
Anyway, my daughter and her class are mostly 3, and as you can imagine while following certain rules, they tend to go at their own pace which is why i loved the little activities that were set out for them all. Each little game was more of a team effort rather than a "you win" sort of line up, which was very refreshing. The egg and spoon race, being my favourite, had each child against one of their parents/carers and so of course every child won. All the parents were encouraged to take part at some point or another,(apart from the obstacle course which I fear would have been disasterous had our weight been involved.) There was:

• Build a big tower
• Fill up the water tray. Each child had a bucket and each parent had a cup and we were all running back and forth transfering water from several buckets to the class water tray
• Bean bag throwing
• Obstacle course
• Jumping mini hurdles, and of course...
• The egg and spoon race

And I was involved in all of them. I was a Nursery Nurse for about 7 years and it all came flooding back to me. It was like I had my own class again.
My daughter was laughing her little head off throughout most of the events and I loved it. Seeing your child laugh is one of the best things life has to offer, and at the bargain price of doing a silly dance or joining her in a sports day event is something i think all parents can afford. Fun all round methinks.

On another note, after my whinging yesterday about my double cleaning shift, my night turned out alright in the end. When I arrived home at about 10 past 8, (got a lift of my mother in-law) I walked in the door to find that my husband had done me a curry, naan bread and an onion bahji. What a hero! I have to say, when to comes to husbands, mine is pretty darn good! Sometimes you need something small like a tea made by someone other than you, it just makes you feel appreciated. Even though I didn't even wash the pots! I washed them today though. There comes a point, and I'm talking about the point when there are no clean plates in the cupboard, where you really must grab the fairy and a pair of marigold's and take action!

Let It Pour!

Thunder and lightening in the North West today!

 I'm definately not whinging about it because it's my favourite weather of all! I love the sound of the rain hammering down on my kitchen roof. I used to go outside in my nighty and get soaked, because it's still so warm in June, and consequently, the rain is also. I can't really do that anymore however, I'd probably end up being committed which I've got to tell you, I don't really want to happen. Nevermind, when I win that lottery and buy my magical farm house in the middle of nowhere I'll be able to do it again, until then however, I'll stick with going out in my wellies and brolly!

  Thursday is my least favourite day of the week. I have a split shift at work, which is highly annoying. First shift 6:00am-9:00am then another at 6:00pm-8:00pm. I'm a cleaner at a large supermarket, high class I know. It's better than my last job though...pub toilets! Lovely! Fortunately I have an iron gut so not much phases me at all.

  I digress, so Thursday is poop. I just can't get motivated at home throughout the day, I worked until 11:00am this morning so I have even less 'get up and go' than usual. I got home at 11:30 after a dawdle through town, came home took my coat off and sat down for approximately 3 minutes before going to pick my girl up from school. Home again, made sarnie's all the while chatting to the wee'un about her day. Her day apparently consisted of riding bikes and scooters, and painting a picture of stars, infinitely more interesting than mine. We ate out sarnies, got changed into comfortable joggers and chilled out, read books and listened to the thunder and rain. This is where I have stayed for the remainder of the afternoon.

 At the moment I'm typing amidst a mountain of ironing, card crafting stuff strewn accross the table, last night's tea and breakfast pots still in the sink and playdough in a variety of shades, all over the floor. (Laminate, thank the gods!) Do I care? Nope. There are more important things in life than being house proud let me tell you, and personally I think sitting in your pj's, listening to the rain, reading books to my daughter and blogging are definately more important. To name but a few.

  Enjoy your day, don't polish too hard, you'll only make me feel bad for being a slummy mummy.