Just Thanking My Lucky Stars

Hello all! I've been reading a lot of blogs this week. I have come across so many lovely ones while scanning through my Twitter feed, and as I had a few spare minutes, (by avoiding washing the pots,) I sat with a brew and my phone and scanned away.

There were a lot this week with a similar vein running throughout them and the general feeling is that a lot of mothers out there, don't think very highly of themselves and are very lacking in self confidence. It is really sad seeing women in these down trodden attitudes when I'm sure the families and friends surrounding these lovely ladies think very highly of them indeed. My life story is far from perfect and I often have the very same fears and anxieties as the rest, which is obviously why a lot was ringing true with me, and why I chose these particular ones to read.

There are many mothers who seem to aspire to completely unattainable targets by looking at others who are far further on in their own personal journey, Mumpreneur's, blogging and  PR experts etc. We tend to look at the end product of these people and think to ourselves 'I could never do that' and 'why can't I have an amazing idea like that?' The thing is, I bet these people started out with a fair few ups and downs and a few less grey hairs! Great success doesn't come over night for the most part in any case, and I'm pretty sure a few mini or indeed epic failures, occur in the middle of each and every journey.

I read a quote earlier in the week which read

Don't compare your chapter 1 to somebody else's chapter 20.

and this is absolutely paramount to realise if we want to maintain even an ounce of sanity!

Fortunately I have a fairly lighthearted attitude towards life and I feel my ability to laugh  at myself has steered me clear of alcohol and happy pills. As I mentioned before, my fears are the same as most but I can laugh most of them off. We are who we are and we can either accept it and roll with the punches or curl up in a ball, call for a straight jacket and sob away in a dark corner of a padded sell. Personally I've tried both, but the aforementioned has better end results in the long term.

May I just say without even a smidgeon of self pity that like most of you, my life is far from perfect. I'm a mother of two which is hard work. Even though my kids are generally good and well behaved, parenthood is never without stress. I live in a small town, three story terraced house, filled with damp, clutter, loose laminate planks, frayed carpet and an undecorated bathroom which has been that way since I was pregnant with my first child. (6 years!!!) I have no money to put any of these imperfections right so I have come to terms with the fact I shall be living like this for a while. And to top it off I work as a cleaner from 6:00am until 9:00am so I can help provide for my family and still have the full day to look after my children, be for there for them at all times, without smothering and spoiling them of course. 

But, I have a great husband who fills my life with hilarity and has done for close to fourteen years, and I am happy. So I thank each and every one of my lucky stars daily and without fail because even though I'm not a fabulous Mumpreneur or Blogging superstar, and I'm still waiting for that all important lottery win, (should really start buying tickets!) I'm doing OK and I sincerely hope you all are too. Don't let your self esteem be kicked to the gutter because you don't feel the best at anything. The only thing we need to be is the very best version of ourselves possible and that's all we can do on our one time visit to this mortal coil.

Lots of love x

Progress? Moi? No!

Good Afternoon and welcome to Wife Mother Disaster Area of the working class variety. 

I realise that in fact I don't appear to be working class in that I'm not working. Well I am actually, I'm still on maternity leave which finishes in only 8 weeks! *bawls eyes out uncontrollably* And in that time oh my do I have a lot to do. 

     Decided not to plant anything more on the allotment. Everything that we are growing is flourishing which is brill, but we need to research and plan for the spring. This year was always going to be a learning curve as far as that went, but with a new baby on the boob and a full time working husband we've not been able to manage it as well as we'd hoped. Need to research a LOT on the best way to plant things. I've fished out an old subject book which I'm going to fill with plans and advice for plot maintenance. So this years plan, continue with what is growing and clear, fertilise and maintain the rest until Spring hits. Then the baby will be weaned, the eldest will be in school, I shall still have all day to faff and potter. Excellent.

     On the clear out the crap front, as usual I have made absolutely no progress what so ever which is why I am the disaster area I claim to be. If anything I've just made it all worse. I've done a lot of shifting all the crap from one room to another, does that count? Yes, that totally counts, I'm having that! 

     Having said that, the front room is a little better, I have actually hoovered my bedroom and my kitchen and living room are kept clean obviously as I have to with a baby and a 4 year old but the bathroom at it's worst. It's still not decorated (5 years now!)  and it is more of a waste bin than ever before, now filled with bin bags of clothes that either do not fit, are completely threadbare or un-seasonal, all to got to charity shops and clothes bins etc. It's a veritable playgound of adventure for my girl who insists on dive bombing on the piles before every bath time!

If only tidying my own disaster zone was as easy as
sorting out my daughters!

     I really must make an effort to sort this house out! It won't be long before I have to move the baby into his own room, (another room completely filled to the ceiling with junk!)  I left little woman in with us until she was one and that was only because we hadn't cleared/ decorated her room either. Honestly, we clearly need rockets up our bums before we even attempt to get things done.
   Anyone else like me? Any tips of motivation? Any tips on where to begin as far as 'total clear out' operations go? I think I need help, clearance therapy or something. Is there a crystal/herbal tea/magic spell to cure this sort of thing? If there is let me know, I am open to all avenues.

    Must get organised!

Happy Fecking Birthday!

Ahoy there! And what a fecking hilarious welcome into my 31st year. 

Here's the gist, not in any particular order, but all happened today.

• Bubbles thrown all over the kitchen by a hysterical 4 year old with a phobia of ants. Ant on the bubble tub, daughter saw the ant, screamed and launched the bubbles. Cue frothy mess all over the kitchen. Granted, it needed a scrub anyway, but I did not want to be forced into it on my birthday!
• Crushed globe jig-saw by the same daughter. After being told "don't roll it or throw it treasure it'll break." And "It's not like a ball, it won't bounce." Daughter pretends it's a chair instead (naturally!) and caves it in with her petite little bum. Repairable but a serious pain in my own arse to get the last piece in. Still not succeeded.
• Nappy water bowl launched across the bedroom by me, accidental, not temperamental, fecking king size duvet on a double bed! Too much swishing about and SPLASH!
• stubbed toes from myself and my daughter on the ladder in the bathroom, (of course, where the hell else do you want me to keep my ladder?)
•  and finally I forgot to put the effing jeffing bins out this morning so that will be nicely festering by next week especially if the weather hots up.

However, I did get to see the whole thing through wearing a brand new pair of Converse All Stars (apart from the toe stubbing where i was going commando,)  and with a belly full of KFC, Thornton's Moments and brews in my very own 'Star Mum' giant mug. Yummy! I also had a little surprise birthday cake which was great. Lets face it, what is a birthday without cake? Oh, and family of course ;D

Happy Bloggy Birthday!

Woo Hoo! This Blog has reached it's first birthday!

Two birds, one stone.
Cake and big boobs.

Bit of a joke really, I had a seven month gap between posts, still I've averaged 2 posts a month, not too bad. I have no idea what I wanted to accomplish with this blog exactly. Promote earth worms?  Show people I can bake cakes? Promote important political views? Discuss big boobs? Clearly not a 'how to get organised' blog, that sort of thing doesn't tend to be mentioned in the same sentence as me. But, the one thing I do hope is that I gave a few people a giggle in the last year and that'll make me happy.

Earth worm
I promote thee.

I think this blog is largely my sort of journal on a hotch potch of things, as my life is also largely hotch potch and I'm sure there are many a disaster area mother/wife much like myself who also take part in a spot of hotch potchery. And as it is my bloggy birthday, I shall have a glass of wine, (alcohol free wine,oh alright it's bloody Schloeur OK!) and raise my glass to you. Toast! May we have many a happy hotchy potchy day, doing whatever it is that we do. Cheers!

 If there are any disaster area mother's out there and you per chance get to a bit of reading my bloggliness, then please, comment, leave me a link to your blog if you keep one or follow me on twitter https://twitter.com/Kyla_Burnett I would love to share views and swap experiences. So Here's to another, hopefully more regular year of blogging and I hope to speak to some of you soon!

Kyla

Day Status: Busy!

Hello and welcome! 

Goodness me. Today was one of those days. The kind of day when you just don't manage to even get a hot brew down you. The morning specifically. I shall go through the morning in bullet points if you don't mind. Would you care to join me? Please do. Grab a cuppa, (preferably hot!) and read along with me.

1. Wake up - obviously
2. Make a brew
3. Hear the baby stir - stir brew have a sip. Brew Status: Hot
4. Change and feed baby - eldest enters the room.
5. Prepare eldest's brekkie - Some chocolate malarkey, bad parenting.
6. Sip brew - Brew status: tepid
7. Get self dressed - long loose top and jeggings. Jeggings status: Up.
8. Dress eldest in freshly laundered uniform - not off of the bedroom floor, good parenting.
9. Sip brew - Brew status: cold. Nuke it. (Microwave it for those who no not this term.)
10. Sip Brew - Brew status: Hot again.
11. Sort family hair - me: Messy with Fudge Shaper, Husband: ponytail, he did it himself clever boy. Eldest: French plait. I did it, clever girl.
12. Load baby into pram, put sun cream on and gather school tit bits - Jeggings status: slightly lower.
13. Sip brew - Brew status: tepid again. Bollocks!
14. School run - Jeggings status: gathering at knees.
15. Home again, hug baby and put him in chair with toys.
16. Plug in iron and put kettle on.
17. Make brew, sip it -Brew status: hot.
18. Start ironing, burn elbow - Iron status: Really fecking hot!
19. Finish ironing, sip brew - Brew: status cold. Give up on brew, pour glass of orange juice.
20. Take baby upstairs, sing silly songs and cuddle him.
21. Lay baby on the bed - bad parenting. 
22. Fetch ironed clothes - swear at iron on passing. It remains un-forgiven for the burn.
23. Put clothes away and sing to baby - Jeggings status: way down!
24. Clean bathroom, change baby and hoik up jeggings - jeggings status: uncomfortably high. Must get new pants.
25. School run part 2 - hug daughter, get home, make sarnies of choice.

And that was just the morning. Cold brews, hot iron and tight pants, what a day! The afternoon brought more mayhem of course. My girl choked on a grape and fell down the stairs! Fortunately only a bruised bum is left to remind her to hold onto the banister. Poor lass. And all I've managed to do between playing and soothing bruises and shock, is feed my baby and do a few loads of washing, all the while practically dehydrating from my lack of hot brews!

I reckon tomorrow will bring more of the same. Not that I mind of course but I really would like a ho cuppa. I think that's the only thing I miss from having the wee 'uns. Still, if that's the only thing missing from my life, along with the lottery win I've been craving, then I don't reckon I'm doing too badly. 

I'm falling asleep over the keyboard here, probably from lack of tea, so I'm thinking I need to wrap it up. I want to write about my allotment because I'm so chuffed with how things are going on it. Most of my veg are flourishing, but well, that's for next time. 

Toodlepip all. Good morning or sweet dreams depending on the time!

Thrill Seekers!

   Hullo there reader! After doing a spot of cleaning the other morning -nothing major just pots, ironing, squirted a bit of polish so it smelled like I'd done some- I decided to phone sister number three of the first batch to see if she and the kids wanted to meet me and my brood for a wee wander. The answer was positive and the plan was to walk and meet up half way. We stuck to the plan and did indeed walk and meet halfway, the halfway line being The Dock Museum of Barrow in Furness, Cumbria. 

    We said our Hello's, and complained about the heat as we trundled along Channelside walk. We admired the lavender which smelt lovely, as we approached Jubilee Bridge. All very tame and normal until.... there came the simply WILD behavior.

  Well my family are obviously adrenaline junkies. We have clearly set a new bar on devil-may-care activities. What did we do? Be patient and I shall tell you. Bungee jump? No. Sky dive? No. Waiting on Jubilee Bridge for a bus to come and make it jolt? Abso-bloody-lutely!!! We take it to a new level of thrill seeking. I should have been more careful of course, involving my offspring, sibling and niece and nephew-ing, in such a reckless activity but hey, I've used it before and I'll use it again, that's just how I roll. 

Oh Look! I actually do bake bread.
Just absolutely not first thing in the morning.

   Nothing else of great importance has been happening over the past couple of days, just the normal day to day malarkey. You know the sort of stuff, waking up get the kids fed, washed, dressed. Put a wash load on, peg the wet stuff out, make pack ups, bake fresh bread and cakes etc. Hahaha! I'm obviously lying through my teeth here, I think we can all safely say that I'm a bare minimum kind of woman. And talking of teeth, I'm lucky if mine get scrubbed before 9:10 a.m! If they don't, I just have to make sure I don't smile or chat on the school run. (Cue thoughts of "ignorant, sour faced cow.") I then have to make time for chin wagging on the pick up,  (cue thoughts of "weird, schizophrenic cow") to catch up on the parent gossip. I have to say though, I've never been to school in my pj's, I mean, you've got to set some standards for the children haven't you haha!

   That my friends is about all I have to share at the moment. I'm off on the hunt for some other Mum and craft blogs.

   Toodleoo!

    

I'm going Bald!!

   That's right people, I'm losing my hair. I'm telling you, it's not like I haven't got a high enough forehead to begin with, I've now been graced with an extra half inch for goodness sake. It happened after my first baby too. Everything is great for about 3 months, then suddenly the bath water drains a hell of a lot slower and you start picking rather long hairs out the crack of your butt. Oh believe me, it's every bit as attractive as it sounds.
 I googled it, (postpartum hair loss, not hairy bum picking) something about your follicles going dormant because they don't rest while you're pregnant, hence the luxuriant locks you get during pregnancy. Children have a lot to answer for, it's a good job my boy is cute bless him.

   Mind you, it's probably a good thing this hair loss malarkey, it's prompted me to get a long overdue haircut. (Just trying to find the silver lining here!) It's about time I had a spot of pampering so I have booked in for the weekend. A cut and colour with a compulsory fringe to camouflage the receding hairline. They better do a good job as well, they're charging me 70 quid! Still at least it only takes about 8-12 months to rectify itself and start growing again. I can then go back to not bothering with haircuts and looking like a bedraggled, land bound mermaid, with only hair and shells to cover my lady lumps. Oh yeah, that's how I roll!

   Well readers, that is about the gist of today's session. Short and sweet, much like my hair will be after the chop! 

    If this is happening to anyone else.... just thank whatever gods you believe in that it isn't your teeth! That's what I'm doing.

Toodleoo!

What Should I Be When I Grow Up?

Goodness me this is a question that has been bugging me for a while now. I'd really like to re-train myself in doing something I love. Not so much at the moment because I have my two fab kiddiwinks to take care of and that's going to take up most/all of my time for quite a few years, but I'm thinking when my boy starts nursery in four years, (can't beat planning ahead!) I've got a bit of spare time to educate myself in something new. 

At the moment I'm on maternity from my cleaning job, and while the cleaning job is

• money
• perfect shift hours
• not bad pay
• fits in with my life nicely
• and has the chance of being offered over time.

Let's face it, nobody wants to be a cleaner for the rest of their life. I really want to have a shot at doing something I love. One problem mind... not entirely sure what I would love to do. 

I love getting creative and I already make some little things for relatives and myself, cards, cakes and poetry  mostly, so perhaps taking a leap and starting up my own business. Perhaps that might be too ambitious though as I am officially Her Royal Highness, the Queen of dis-organisation. Call me thick but you probably need to be organized to run your own business. I'm going to take some of those online career quiz's, and have fun seeing what I have the skills for. Watch me come back with 'your skills are suited too CLEANING' and/or 'growing cauliflowers' 

Hug Me!

Well, like I said, I've a while to think about it all. The most important thing in my life is my family and they come first. Not as a chore but as a pleasure. Oh, and my allotment is on the list as a close second, so I shall continue to nurture my children, my husband and my cauli's and live my little life contentedly. 

Bloody Housework!

   Honestly I know not where to begin. My house is and looks like it shall ever remain... a shit hole. Pardon my colorful language choice but blimey. Kids in the house means a constant flow of toys, games, craft materials etc. all over the floor. I have to admit, I'm a big contributor to this constant flow, but that's OK in my eyes. Because I'm the one who has to clean and tidy, I definitely get to make mess. It's only fair.

   Please see exhibit A rather delightful example of what my beautiful daughter leaves for me after a play session. This, and I quote "Mummy, I like making a mess!" Really? I had absolutely NO idea. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually the kind of person who laughs at this sort of thing. As long as no little pieces go missing, (Note, all boxes are still lidded.) then I am fine. We all have a giggle, tidy up then wait for another tornado to hit tomorrow. Fortunately my husband is also of this temperament, so that saves a whole lot of family aggro.

Exhibit A 

   One particular thing that my husband does that winds me up, has to do with the bath. He NEVER rinses the bath around. I don't know why it irks me so much but it really does. Still, if that's all I've got to whinge about then well, I really shouldn't be whinging should I? 

   I really do need to get back on track with the housework. Since having the wee lad I've been slacking. I can't even blame it on the baby because 98% of the time he's brilliant. I need to formulate a plan of action. A chart perhaps of what needs doing and when etc. Or I should stop writing list's and compiling charts about cleaning and actually pick up a flippin' duster! That way, something might actually get cleaned. NO, I don't think so.

   It's My daughter's sports day tomorrow, one thing I absolutely hated when I was at school even when I was really young. I was very aware that I was utterly crap at all sports available on sports day and I've come to terms with it. I mean, I'm 4 foot 11.75 inches tall,  pear shaped, with zero tolerance for competitive streaks. So anything more energetic than tiddly winks, is completely off the table. 

   I digress. This bit's about my daughter and there I go whinging on again.

   I really can't wait to see her  play. She's told me she'll be running really fast and she going to win! (Well she doesn't get that from me!) Good God! I hope they don't make me do the egg and spoon race again!

  

 Well, as I appear to be nodding off at the computer desk, I'm thinking I should probably sign off. So cheerio one and all and take it easy!

New Allotment. New Baby. New Anti-Wrinkle Cream Needed.

   Blimey it's been a while, and believe me a lot has happened. First things first.
   This is actually something I was supposed to post in November last year, being smack bang in the middle of pregnancy number 2 we managed to acquire one! An allotment that is. One of my little family's dreams, small though it may be, has come true! We can now plant and nurture the cauliflowers that our hearts have long desired!

Planted and ready to grow!

It was not the best time to begin the project. Being half way through a pregnancy was not an ideal time to start picking up forks and digging for your life, but my husband was also excited about it and my daughter has proved a dab hand with a hoe so they were in charge at the beginning. I just picked out seeds and did a bit of research, When should I plant said cauli? For example.

Back breaking work needed!

The Burnett allotment project is now well under way since I had my baby, (Boy, gorgeous! More on him later) the top half is half planted and half waiting for planting, but the bottom half... WHOA! That half is going to need some T.L.C. There is a serious weed situation that needs dealing with....pronto!

Me and my Boy

My new arrival, as I mentioned previously, was a boy. A simply gorgeous boy if I do say so myself and I love the little fella to bits. He's such a good baby I don't know how I got so lucky to be honest. My daughter loves him as well which is great. There's no friction at the moment. A spot of jealousy at the very beginning, when visitors came round. My girl hardly ever spoke to anyone so the surprise on visitors faces when she struck up conversations, (drawing attention away from the wee lad) was really rather amusing.

Another boasting parent moment I'm afraid. My daughter is doing so well at school I'm brimming with pride! She knows all her alphabet both normally and phonetically, she spells out small words by herself and coming on leaps and bounds with her confidence! Chest. Swelling. So. Proud.

   Well, I reckon that's all I can (hopefully) hold your attention with for the moment. Plenty more has happened, but I shall save the 'failed to dilate' story for another time.
Toodleoo!