From Boob to Bottle

Yes my good people I've decided to make the move and try and put the little man onto the bottle. Partly because I wouldn't mind a night on the bottle myself but mostly because, well alright, it's mostly because I want a night on the bottle. (Don't you judge me! haha!) 

Prepare for self praise. I've done over 5 month's exclusively breast feeding (so formal, I'm going with 'feeding him myself.') I've done over 5 month's exclusively feeding him myself and I feel a sense of pride for doing so, also an overwhelming sense of pride in my son for being a dream and taking so well to it! Sleeping through the night since about 2 weeks, 6 hours at 2 weeks, 8 hours from 5 weeks and 10 hours from 7 weeks. One word.... lucky! I even had to check with the health visitor that I wasn't letting him sleep too much! He has 5 feeds during the day three to four hours apart, two or three nap times and bed at 9:00, so as you can see, we've done quite well. (With all this horn tooting smuggery I've probably created a monster who won't come off the boob until he's seven or something, then I'll be having to pay for therapy! I'll see if the horns being blown then!?)  However, now he's getting nosey and feeding time is less relaxed. Not for him of course but definitely for me. You see, he thinks my boob is a tumbler and that my nipple is some kind of bendy straw, just stretching  and bending it over to whatever he wants to look at, clamping his little gums firmly down on it at the same time.....OUCH! I've developed a condition called 'elastiboob' and my breasts now belong in some kind of baby feeding freak show, or could at the very least be used as sails in some new form of wind sport. 

Anyway, that's quite enough breast boob talk and horn tooting, especially seeing as I'm tooting my own, and let's move on to the milk that I've picked. After doing minimal research, i.e. asking face book friends and my two fabulous parent sisters, both my sister's have given me the right advice I feel. I have decided to go with Aptamil. Although with my little girl I went with Sma, (fed myself and then combination fed from 2 months) she was very easy to make the transition with, my boy however is reluctant to take even breast milk from a bottle therefore as sister Number 2 said this has the most similar taste to breast milk,  I'm going with it. I may still have to change bottles (Tommee Tippee at the moment) but if the taste is fairly similar and it looks to have more science going for it, (oh yeah, I'm absolutely down with the nucleotides and Omega's) then hopefully I've made the right decision. Watch this space people, watch this space. 

Anyway, wish me luck good people please, because although I'm trying to make light of the situation, nobody likes seeing their baby upset, and the last time I tried him on a bottle he was really upset, so I'm hoping to persevere and now he's a bit older, get a bit of a smoother transition. I can only hope.

Toodleoo!

Progress? Moi? No!

Good Afternoon and welcome to Wife Mother Disaster Area of the working class variety. 

I realise that in fact I don't appear to be working class in that I'm not working. Well I am actually, I'm still on maternity leave which finishes in only 8 weeks! *bawls eyes out uncontrollably* And in that time oh my do I have a lot to do. 

     Decided not to plant anything more on the allotment. Everything that we are growing is flourishing which is brill, but we need to research and plan for the spring. This year was always going to be a learning curve as far as that went, but with a new baby on the boob and a full time working husband we've not been able to manage it as well as we'd hoped. Need to research a LOT on the best way to plant things. I've fished out an old subject book which I'm going to fill with plans and advice for plot maintenance. So this years plan, continue with what is growing and clear, fertilise and maintain the rest until Spring hits. Then the baby will be weaned, the eldest will be in school, I shall still have all day to faff and potter. Excellent.

     On the clear out the crap front, as usual I have made absolutely no progress what so ever which is why I am the disaster area I claim to be. If anything I've just made it all worse. I've done a lot of shifting all the crap from one room to another, does that count? Yes, that totally counts, I'm having that! 

     Having said that, the front room is a little better, I have actually hoovered my bedroom and my kitchen and living room are kept clean obviously as I have to with a baby and a 4 year old but the bathroom at it's worst. It's still not decorated (5 years now!)  and it is more of a waste bin than ever before, now filled with bin bags of clothes that either do not fit, are completely threadbare or un-seasonal, all to got to charity shops and clothes bins etc. It's a veritable playgound of adventure for my girl who insists on dive bombing on the piles before every bath time!

If only tidying my own disaster zone was as easy as
sorting out my daughters!

     I really must make an effort to sort this house out! It won't be long before I have to move the baby into his own room, (another room completely filled to the ceiling with junk!)  I left little woman in with us until she was one and that was only because we hadn't cleared/ decorated her room either. Honestly, we clearly need rockets up our bums before we even attempt to get things done.
   Anyone else like me? Any tips of motivation? Any tips on where to begin as far as 'total clear out' operations go? I think I need help, clearance therapy or something. Is there a crystal/herbal tea/magic spell to cure this sort of thing? If there is let me know, I am open to all avenues.

    Must get organised!

Silent Sunday

No Comedy, just the beauty of being a mummy.

Oh Knickers!

Hello there one and all!

I was getting my little girl ready for school this morning when suddenly she said "Mummy, I've got a wedgie!" Obviously it's time I bought the girl some new undies, she's growing up way too fast for my liking. Then I thought to myself, I can't even remember the last time I had a wedgie and then I looked at the contents of my knicker drawer.

Just a little sketch to put the point across.
Well, I wasn't taking pictures of my knicker drawer!

Well it's no bloody wonder I don't have wedgies any more, you should see the size of my crackers!  Parachutes and tall ship sails as far as the eye can see. It's a wonder I haven't been carried off whilst blow drying!

   The reason? Well that's it isn't it, since having my babies I appear to have been purchasing yacht sails and wearing them as underpants. As a parent I do have to go for comfort as I'm sure a lot of you are aware, walking along on the school run picking lacey knickers out of your bum is not something your kid's want to be associated with. And no child  needs "Oh yeah, that's knicker picker's son!" being shouted at the school gates about them. School's hard enough! 

   I did however find 4 pairs of pretty patterned things obviously acquired before I started buying underwear from bosun's locker, and before baby number 2, when I had time to practise the art of seduction. All that's gone to pot now of course, the best we can hope for is a quick "are they asleep? Quick get naked!" and away we go! I mean, planning a lace encased evening of passion is nigh impossible! So alas I have become the queen of the cotton gusset. Practical, comfortable and minimal chance of a yeast infection. (We've all had 'em, and we know it ain't good!)

   I digress, the point is I'm utterly shocked about the size of my 'smalls' because this lead me to thinking at great length (or rather width) about another thing. Good God, you should see the size of my arse! Yes, not rocket science I admit.  Maths tutorial

                             large knickers = lard erm I mean, large arse.

   I shall HAVE to do something about this! I'm not completely massive but I could certainly do with losing a few pounds, to stop the chaffing if nothing else. I'm thinking about Slimming World. I managed to lose a stone and a half last time, put a stone back on like, but kept the half off. Now I think it's high time I re-tackled it! I don't mind being buxom, but for the sake of my health, and my knicker drawer, it's time to fight some flab! I'm going for it, lose 5 pounds and treat myself to a new pair of satin knickers. 

   With a cotton gusset of course!

  

 Is there anyone else who, with parenthood looming over you, have opted for the cotton? Can you be bothered donning silk G-strings instead of Bridget Jones' style bloomers? Do share, but not with too much detail please.

I'm going Bald!!

   That's right people, I'm losing my hair. I'm telling you, it's not like I haven't got a high enough forehead to begin with, I've now been graced with an extra half inch for goodness sake. It happened after my first baby too. Everything is great for about 3 months, then suddenly the bath water drains a hell of a lot slower and you start picking rather long hairs out the crack of your butt. Oh believe me, it's every bit as attractive as it sounds.
 I googled it, (postpartum hair loss, not hairy bum picking) something about your follicles going dormant because they don't rest while you're pregnant, hence the luxuriant locks you get during pregnancy. Children have a lot to answer for, it's a good job my boy is cute bless him.

   Mind you, it's probably a good thing this hair loss malarkey, it's prompted me to get a long overdue haircut. (Just trying to find the silver lining here!) It's about time I had a spot of pampering so I have booked in for the weekend. A cut and colour with a compulsory fringe to camouflage the receding hairline. They better do a good job as well, they're charging me 70 quid! Still at least it only takes about 8-12 months to rectify itself and start growing again. I can then go back to not bothering with haircuts and looking like a bedraggled, land bound mermaid, with only hair and shells to cover my lady lumps. Oh yeah, that's how I roll!

   Well readers, that is about the gist of today's session. Short and sweet, much like my hair will be after the chop! 

    If this is happening to anyone else.... just thank whatever gods you believe in that it isn't your teeth! That's what I'm doing.

Toodleoo!