Unfinished Business

Good evening all who dare to join me! 

As you will of realised by now (maybe) I am the queen of the unfinished project. If I may expand. I've given up on the allotment. It may surprise you to know that growing, maintaining and even thinking about plants is hard bloody work, and I appear to have an allergy to said form of exertion. Basically, I couldn't be arsed.

I decided that 'The Good Life' just isn't for me, especially at the moment, what with kid's, work, pot washing and not giving a shit. But I've now had two "not good for me at the moment" moments and have therefore drawn the conclusion that it's clearly not for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of growing, tilling the land and all that shite, but when it comes to the crunch, I'm just not crunchy. I'm rather like a box of unwanted bran flakes, long opened and forgotten about. More soft and flaccid than crisp and crunchy as far as allotment work goes anyhow. I should just plan somebody else's allotment, I'd be awesome at that. Fantastic even, telling them what to do, researching what to put where, what not to put where and what to definitely wash your hands after touching, before going to the loo! That's it! I'm going to write a book on how to be an allotment owner without an allotment. Problem solved. I am winning!

Well, now we've gone over what I'm not good at, here's what I appear to be awesome at. EATING. Do I want to be talented at this? Hell no! But it appears to be one of my top 3 talents at least. as I can't stop shovelling crap into my mouth! If I could only dig potato trenches as well as I can dig into the biscuit tin, the allotment would be thriving. 

I've put half a stone on again this year because I stopped going to fat camp, so I need to start that up again or I'll end up growing chins, better than I ever grew cucumbers! So Slimming World it is, planning food and being aware of hand mouth coordination.

Well just a short and sweet entry about nothing in particular, as most of my type style dabblings appear to be. Good night, sleep tight and finger's crossed that I don't have an extra chin upon waking! Good God, I really must move that biscuit tin!

Christmas Been And Gone

Yes, Christmas has been and gone. A few pound's lost from the bank account, another few pound's gained around the waistline. Hark! The herald angels have sang, and Santa very nearly almost, got stuck up the chimney! So ding dong merrily on high, I have to say I have enjoyed myself thoroughly! I'm sat here typing on my new tablet eating copious amounts of Thornton's chocolate, wishing I didn't have to go back to Slimming world next week. Because I know after this, my second full box of chocolate's in as many days, the scales will not be my friend! This is the price one must pay for a bout of festive gluttony.
Another major downside to eating massive amounts of anything is that my family appears to have turned into a mass collection of trumpet trouser's. Sprout's, cabbage, parsnips, carrot and swede, roast and mashed spuds, peas, turkey, stuffing, pigs in blankets and of course, a few Yorkshire puds. Goodness me, no wonder we were all stuffed after reading that list of ingredients, and is it indeed any wonder that our carol singing has been purely consistent of flatulance! At least we can blame the smell on the veg and my daughter's disgusting smelly scratch and sniff book! (I actually borked!)
None of us even got dressed on Christmas day, we were having far too much fun opening pressies, following ridiculous construction instructions, hunting down lost bones, (Buster the dog game's, not mine) and generally having a blast!
Just put the kids to bed and feeling extremely tired myself I will very shortly be following suit. I've had another lovely Christmas with my less than perfect but highly awesome family, and I'm hoping that the new year will see more of the same. I love my less than perfect but highly awesome life! (Most of the time anyway 😂)

(Sing it Please.....) HEAT WAVE!

Too. Bloody. Hot!
Total. Dehy. Dration.
Can't. Type. Another. Word.

*Sigh* Of course all of the above is a pack of lies, but this heat is quite simply making a giant sweaty monster of me. I'd be confident in sweating off loads of weight if I wasn't trying to re-hydrate myself with cinnamon swirl pastries. 

*Squelch* I've boycotted bathing. I've just filled the bath up with Soltan SPF 50 and started each day by dipping me and the kids in it, ensuring that we stay the lovely pastey English white that we should be, as opposed to the lovely lobster red colour that the English seem take on after braving the sunshine for too long, only to live in regret the next day when taking that first shower or ripping burnt thigh's off of a leather sofa.

*Drip* Convinced that my brain had melted and is now oozing out of the pores in my forehead in the form of intellectual sweat. Must try and collect it and bathe in it after I drain the Soltan out of the tub. Hmm, don't think I even own a funnel.

*Pffffff* When living in the Lake District you do NOT get used to this kind of weather. I'm used to the rain and the wind and I love it! But this heat when surrounded but this many hills? I have to climb Mount Doom (slight exaggeration, but roll with it for the comedic visual.) just to get back from Morrisons for feck sake! That with a pram of shopping, sun in your face and a four year old on a scooter is going to do things to you. Physically and mentally. And I don't even get to rid the world of evil after the voyage is complete!

*Boing* My hair does strange things in the humidity.

*Sigh Again.* I'm so tired and yet I can't sleep because the heat keeps making me have weird dreams. Pregnancy, not being able to find my kids, hearing things. Might well be having a psychotic episode apart from the fact I don't want to kill anybody. I couldn't be bothered because it's too bloody hot! Oh yes, that reminds me, I must get a hammer and chisel tomorrow and get prepared to remove the countless layers of Soltan when the rain finally comes back. (Not as psychotic episode props! I'll leave that to the pro's, Jason, Freddie, Micheal Myers etc.) 

*Glug* I reckon that's my heat whinge over with. I'm now off for a brew and a James Bond whinge with the husband. We've done Connery, Lazenby, Connery and Moore this week, I refuse to sit through Dalton until the new week begins. Bloody new Sky On Demand Router! I'm now on a mission to take over... The name's Disaster. Wife Mother Disaster. Step away from the remote!

A Fairy Tale Moment

All about the Khaki

Once upon a time there was a 16 year old teenager. She was average looking with braces, black and red hair and a penchant for hanging around pub's. One chilly night, this teenager decided to go and watch a few local bands play at one such pub. She arrived nice and early (7:30pm, only 16 remember,) wearing khaki combats, a khaki vest, a baggy knitted jumper with holes in and some Dr. Martens, and went to the bar to order her favourite tipple. This tipple was a raspberry Panda Pop as she was too scared to order alcohol for fear of a) being refused and b) going home drunk. (Parents would be furious!)

So there she was, Panda Pop in hand, when she noticed a long haired gentleman sat at the other side of the bar. Being a little bit ballsy (though not enough to defy the parents and get drunk,) and slightly hyper off the ridiculous blue colouring of the Panda Pop, she decided that she would go forth and introduce herself to the stranger sat among his friends. She did it, they laughed, they went out for a while and she ended up marrying......... his friend.

The one I married

And they are currently living a happy existence with their kids and their cat, in their castle 3 story terrace which never gets hoovered.

Not The End.

P.S. This would be one of those moments I refer to in  my very first post,  The Beginning for you, not for me. where i mention that when events dry up I shall dig up some history. Consider some history dug. 

Day Status: Busy!

Hello and welcome! 

Goodness me. Today was one of those days. The kind of day when you just don't manage to even get a hot brew down you. The morning specifically. I shall go through the morning in bullet points if you don't mind. Would you care to join me? Please do. Grab a cuppa, (preferably hot!) and read along with me.

1. Wake up - obviously
2. Make a brew
3. Hear the baby stir - stir brew have a sip. Brew Status: Hot
4. Change and feed baby - eldest enters the room.
5. Prepare eldest's brekkie - Some chocolate malarkey, bad parenting.
6. Sip brew - Brew status: tepid
7. Get self dressed - long loose top and jeggings. Jeggings status: Up.
8. Dress eldest in freshly laundered uniform - not off of the bedroom floor, good parenting.
9. Sip brew - Brew status: cold. Nuke it. (Microwave it for those who no not this term.)
10. Sip Brew - Brew status: Hot again.
11. Sort family hair - me: Messy with Fudge Shaper, Husband: ponytail, he did it himself clever boy. Eldest: French plait. I did it, clever girl.
12. Load baby into pram, put sun cream on and gather school tit bits - Jeggings status: slightly lower.
13. Sip brew - Brew status: tepid again. Bollocks!
14. School run - Jeggings status: gathering at knees.
15. Home again, hug baby and put him in chair with toys.
16. Plug in iron and put kettle on.
17. Make brew, sip it -Brew status: hot.
18. Start ironing, burn elbow - Iron status: Really fecking hot!
19. Finish ironing, sip brew - Brew: status cold. Give up on brew, pour glass of orange juice.
20. Take baby upstairs, sing silly songs and cuddle him.
21. Lay baby on the bed - bad parenting. 
22. Fetch ironed clothes - swear at iron on passing. It remains un-forgiven for the burn.
23. Put clothes away and sing to baby - Jeggings status: way down!
24. Clean bathroom, change baby and hoik up jeggings - jeggings status: uncomfortably high. Must get new pants.
25. School run part 2 - hug daughter, get home, make sarnies of choice.

And that was just the morning. Cold brews, hot iron and tight pants, what a day! The afternoon brought more mayhem of course. My girl choked on a grape and fell down the stairs! Fortunately only a bruised bum is left to remind her to hold onto the banister. Poor lass. And all I've managed to do between playing and soothing bruises and shock, is feed my baby and do a few loads of washing, all the while practically dehydrating from my lack of hot brews!

I reckon tomorrow will bring more of the same. Not that I mind of course but I really would like a ho cuppa. I think that's the only thing I miss from having the wee 'uns. Still, if that's the only thing missing from my life, along with the lottery win I've been craving, then I don't reckon I'm doing too badly. 

I'm falling asleep over the keyboard here, probably from lack of tea, so I'm thinking I need to wrap it up. I want to write about my allotment because I'm so chuffed with how things are going on it. Most of my veg are flourishing, but well, that's for next time. 

Toodlepip all. Good morning or sweet dreams depending on the time!

Oh Knickers!

Hello there one and all!

I was getting my little girl ready for school this morning when suddenly she said "Mummy, I've got a wedgie!" Obviously it's time I bought the girl some new undies, she's growing up way too fast for my liking. Then I thought to myself, I can't even remember the last time I had a wedgie and then I looked at the contents of my knicker drawer.

Just a little sketch to put the point across.
Well, I wasn't taking pictures of my knicker drawer!

Well it's no bloody wonder I don't have wedgies any more, you should see the size of my crackers!  Parachutes and tall ship sails as far as the eye can see. It's a wonder I haven't been carried off whilst blow drying!

   The reason? Well that's it isn't it, since having my babies I appear to have been purchasing yacht sails and wearing them as underpants. As a parent I do have to go for comfort as I'm sure a lot of you are aware, walking along on the school run picking lacey knickers out of your bum is not something your kid's want to be associated with. And no child  needs "Oh yeah, that's knicker picker's son!" being shouted at the school gates about them. School's hard enough! 

   I did however find 4 pairs of pretty patterned things obviously acquired before I started buying underwear from bosun's locker, and before baby number 2, when I had time to practise the art of seduction. All that's gone to pot now of course, the best we can hope for is a quick "are they asleep? Quick get naked!" and away we go! I mean, planning a lace encased evening of passion is nigh impossible! So alas I have become the queen of the cotton gusset. Practical, comfortable and minimal chance of a yeast infection. (We've all had 'em, and we know it ain't good!)

   I digress, the point is I'm utterly shocked about the size of my 'smalls' because this lead me to thinking at great length (or rather width) about another thing. Good God, you should see the size of my arse! Yes, not rocket science I admit.  Maths tutorial

                             large knickers = lard erm I mean, large arse.

   I shall HAVE to do something about this! I'm not completely massive but I could certainly do with losing a few pounds, to stop the chaffing if nothing else. I'm thinking about Slimming World. I managed to lose a stone and a half last time, put a stone back on like, but kept the half off. Now I think it's high time I re-tackled it! I don't mind being buxom, but for the sake of my health, and my knicker drawer, it's time to fight some flab! I'm going for it, lose 5 pounds and treat myself to a new pair of satin knickers. 

   With a cotton gusset of course!

  

 Is there anyone else who, with parenthood looming over you, have opted for the cotton? Can you be bothered donning silk G-strings instead of Bridget Jones' style bloomers? Do share, but not with too much detail please.

Thrill Seekers!

   Hullo there reader! After doing a spot of cleaning the other morning -nothing major just pots, ironing, squirted a bit of polish so it smelled like I'd done some- I decided to phone sister number three of the first batch to see if she and the kids wanted to meet me and my brood for a wee wander. The answer was positive and the plan was to walk and meet up half way. We stuck to the plan and did indeed walk and meet halfway, the halfway line being The Dock Museum of Barrow in Furness, Cumbria. 

    We said our Hello's, and complained about the heat as we trundled along Channelside walk. We admired the lavender which smelt lovely, as we approached Jubilee Bridge. All very tame and normal until.... there came the simply WILD behavior.

  Well my family are obviously adrenaline junkies. We have clearly set a new bar on devil-may-care activities. What did we do? Be patient and I shall tell you. Bungee jump? No. Sky dive? No. Waiting on Jubilee Bridge for a bus to come and make it jolt? Abso-bloody-lutely!!! We take it to a new level of thrill seeking. I should have been more careful of course, involving my offspring, sibling and niece and nephew-ing, in such a reckless activity but hey, I've used it before and I'll use it again, that's just how I roll. 

Oh Look! I actually do bake bread.
Just absolutely not first thing in the morning.

   Nothing else of great importance has been happening over the past couple of days, just the normal day to day malarkey. You know the sort of stuff, waking up get the kids fed, washed, dressed. Put a wash load on, peg the wet stuff out, make pack ups, bake fresh bread and cakes etc. Hahaha! I'm obviously lying through my teeth here, I think we can all safely say that I'm a bare minimum kind of woman. And talking of teeth, I'm lucky if mine get scrubbed before 9:10 a.m! If they don't, I just have to make sure I don't smile or chat on the school run. (Cue thoughts of "ignorant, sour faced cow.") I then have to make time for chin wagging on the pick up,  (cue thoughts of "weird, schizophrenic cow") to catch up on the parent gossip. I have to say though, I've never been to school in my pj's, I mean, you've got to set some standards for the children haven't you haha!

   That my friends is about all I have to share at the moment. I'm off on the hunt for some other Mum and craft blogs.

   Toodleoo!

    

I'm going Bald!!

   That's right people, I'm losing my hair. I'm telling you, it's not like I haven't got a high enough forehead to begin with, I've now been graced with an extra half inch for goodness sake. It happened after my first baby too. Everything is great for about 3 months, then suddenly the bath water drains a hell of a lot slower and you start picking rather long hairs out the crack of your butt. Oh believe me, it's every bit as attractive as it sounds.
 I googled it, (postpartum hair loss, not hairy bum picking) something about your follicles going dormant because they don't rest while you're pregnant, hence the luxuriant locks you get during pregnancy. Children have a lot to answer for, it's a good job my boy is cute bless him.

   Mind you, it's probably a good thing this hair loss malarkey, it's prompted me to get a long overdue haircut. (Just trying to find the silver lining here!) It's about time I had a spot of pampering so I have booked in for the weekend. A cut and colour with a compulsory fringe to camouflage the receding hairline. They better do a good job as well, they're charging me 70 quid! Still at least it only takes about 8-12 months to rectify itself and start growing again. I can then go back to not bothering with haircuts and looking like a bedraggled, land bound mermaid, with only hair and shells to cover my lady lumps. Oh yeah, that's how I roll!

   Well readers, that is about the gist of today's session. Short and sweet, much like my hair will be after the chop! 

    If this is happening to anyone else.... just thank whatever gods you believe in that it isn't your teeth! That's what I'm doing.

Toodleoo!

Clear Out the Crap!

The computer and General Crap

Hello there! Sort of following on from my last post, I've decided to make some big changes to help get things moving along. For starters, clear out the front room. Heavens above! It is a mess and I'm not just talking about a few toys on the floor. I'm talking about toys, play dough, guitars, and general crap ALL OVER the whole room. I would take a before shot of the room but frankly, I'm actually embarrassed, so the before shot is out. I have however stretched to some 'after the before, but before the after' shot's, which still might be pushing health and safety and Environmental Health rules of some kind. 

Some Guitars and General Crap

And now I've got the 'I'm a slovenly minger' point across, lets move on to the plan.

As I was saying, when the front room is cleared of garbage, I should like to turn it into an office come library come crafty area sort of thing. A sort of room of concentration, creativity and business. I'm very exited about it. Once I have at least one room of the house cleared and functional I can then begin formulating a plan for the rest of the house. Mostly one big plan. Ie, Rid the house of shite! But lots of mini (clean the sofa.) and maxi (Career change.) plans will also come to pass hopefully. 

Unfortunately everything that I can plan for has to not involve funds of any kind at all. Me and my little family are completely skint. We have a lot of love under this roof but zero cash. And that takes me stupendously onto my next point. Selling crap.

A BIT OF CLEAR FLOOR!
And Some General Crap.

Anything and everything that I do not need, wear, use etc. Shall be sold or given to charity, depending on the quality of the items or whether or not I can be bothered packing and posting. May as well try to earn a few bob, you know, what with the whole skint thing I mentioned before. I may well earn enough for a new craft table. Oooo that would be nice. Stop daydreaming KYLA! 

Maybe this is it. Maybe it's taken me until my 30th (nearly 31st) year to gain a bit of ambition and motivation! Maybe I might not be such a disaster area after all. Although taking a look around my front room, I may already have bitten off more than I can chew. And I'm a porker, I can chew a lot! 

Wish me luck!

Good Clean Fun

 After functioning on very minimal sleep yesterday, I'm actually quite proud of myself. I managed to get nothing done which is what I set out to do.
 I nearly had a parental blip though. I bathed and dressed my little girl, dried and plaited her hair, breakfast ready then remembered that she needed to be wearing black. Queue massive hunt for some form of mini goth clothing. Fortunately my mother had just brought her a black top the other day, and girls of all ages own a pair of black leggings, especially a girl like mine who happens to be a dirt magnet. So after a mild panic we still managed to get fed, watered and changed, ready and out of the house on time. Hooray! Other than the mini 'drama noir' nothing at all eventful occured.

 Today after I took my girl to nursery, I had a big ol' ring round to see who will be paying my maternity pay. I read a work letter through only to find out that I'm earning £7.00 less than I should be in order to get SMP but I'll still be entitled to maternity allowance, I know I'll be getting paid just not who by just yet. Midwife appointment has been booked to obtain the wondrous form that everyone seems to need a copy of, my stomach is in a mini knot and will be until I've got it in black and white exactly how much I'm entitled too, and who I shall be receiving it from. I felt very grown up researching on the net and making phone calls to my firm with my special new laptop in front of me.

I realise this is the wrong angle.
Does it make the pile smaller?

 After doing all my business like grown up stuff, I had to face up to another grown up task...... the dreaded CLEAN! I've been so good today you wouldn't believe.
 I went for a wander up town to get some money, and formulated a plan of action. I was probably talking to myself in the process. After i went to the bank, i trotted off to Wilko's to get myself a new mop and bucket, I'm just thoroughly spoilt aren't I?! Now my bump is getting bigger I just can't face getting on my hands and knees to scrub my laminate throughout the whole bottom floor so a mop and bucket is definitely the way forward. My bottom floor is now tidy, extra clean and smells absolutely wonderful. I even bleached my kitchen bin. Next step.....ironing. (yawn.)

 Back to work tomorrow boo hoo. Still it's only for a couple of weeks then I'm off again. I've got loads of hols booked for this time of year which is brill because it's my fave. Autumn walks in the forest, finding leaves and doing sticking with my girl, visiting Blackpool lights and getting chips on the prom, Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night and finally Christmas. You're off your rocker if you don't love this time of year, even the air smells better. It's just the best.

 Well, I'm off to bed shortly as I'm up at the crack of dawn. My husband has gone out for the evening and so he shall find a wonderful surprise in his side of the bed upon his return, in the shape of a 3 year old girl. Sleep tight one and all.

I Love It How A Plan Never Comes Together

 Well here I am typing at 5:15 in the morning. My little girl woke me up from a not so deep sleep at 3:30 for a wee, then she went back off only to wake again from a bad dream at 4:15 bless her. I went in her bed with her for about 30 minutes but you just really cannot get comfortable in a single bed at my age, so I crept out of her bed and came down stairs for a brew. Then I spotted our new family laptop and decided to have a wee shot on it, hence finding myself on my blog.

 With the early rise and all I've been having a think about the baby coming and such. I have absolutely nothing at all ready and I'm not even sure If I'm on the right pay level to acquire maternity pay, obviously I'll be getting it from somewhere but it's a form filling nightmare which I really need to look into. I'm halfway through the pregnancy now and I haven't got so much as a baby grow out the spare room. (Inner scream! far too early to subject the neighbours to my neurosis yet.) If there is anyone out there who is as completely unorganised as myself, please let me know. I need tips on how to become mother number 1! Well, we all know there is no such thing as that, but I'd like to improve nonetheless.

 (Another wake up from my daughter, not having a good night bless her.)

 I had a little flick through Emma's Diary, but that's really just list upon list of things that I need, haven't got and got no cash to buy. I really should've been more prepared for this. You think, "well I managed last time, we brought everything we needed." Yes, but we didn't already have another mouth to feed! Holy mackerel this is a pickle but the main thing is not to panic. (Queue panic attack anyway!)

 I think I'm going to have a scan through the spare room and see what unisex things I can salvage from my girl being a baby. That shouldn't be too much of a problem because I know I saved all the white's, the things that weren't stained with poo anyway. And there is definitely my lovely moses basket that I can freshen up. I'm definitely going to get a new pram/travel system because our old one is knackered. I'm not a driver so it was very well used. It was a pram/buggy/car seat, the works and I used every attachment to death.

 As far as feeding goes I'm going to breast feed, I did with my first and I shall with this one. It's cheap, always on hand, (or boob!) and I make it so I may as well use it for as long as I can. Well, six months anyway, when I wean onto food, I wean off the boob.

 This shouldn't be too hard to accomplish should it?

 Famous last words! I am the original disaster area so I'll keep you posted as to how my plan comes together, and it doesn't always, I'm not the bloody A-Team after all.

 

Motherhood Mayhem

 Well good day to all who view! I am currently in the middle of;

• trying to plan a birthday party for my daughter next month
• planning my crafting for Christmas tit bit's
• imagining list after list of things that need doing in my house before bundle of joy number two is born, and last but not least
• figuring out how long I should take of work after bundle of joy number two is born.

 

and in all honesty I'm beginning to find it all a bit overwhelming. Not only do I have all of the above to consider, but it has just hit me that not only am I pregnant, but I will in fact have another child to look after!! I realise that makes me a little slow on the uptake, I mean I know how the whole thing works of course,

My first pregnancy bump.

1. you have sex
2. you get pregnant if you're lucky (or unlucky, depending on the situation!)
3. you stay pregnant for a number of months and then
4. you have a baby by pushing or slicing, which you usually keep, love and cherish forever. (this also depending on the situation.)

I obviously just didn't realise it applied to me this time. Doh! So I was just sitting in my recliner last night and had a mild panic attack about the thought that "Oh shit! I'm gonna have TWO kids to look after!!!!" Followed by another thought of "AHHHHHHHH!"

Oh well, it can't be too hard can it? My mother's had six and she managed OK, I guess only time will tell.

 

 The whole 'operation tidy' I spoke of yesterday did not come into fruition. My brother is ill (likely story ha ha) and my Mother is planning a divorce (thank God, the man's a pillock!) so I did what any woman in their right mind would do, sat on my back side and watched anything at all to prevent me from doing the housework.

 After watching crap on the tele I had a visit from my mother with all manor of jargon from the solicitors, council etc. And we had a good gossip about the fact that husband number 3 is a beep beep beepety beep! During this we totally lost track of time, my bath had run to a ridiculous level and my cat had pooped with a ridiculous level of stench. I had to literally dive into said bath, scrub a dub dub and get the hell out, leaving my mum downstairs with the aroma of poo, a scented candle and a box of matches!

 Consequently we had to drive around the corner to pick my girl up, without me even having time to bush my sodden hair. Slummy Mummy or what?!

 

My own playdough creation.

 All serious questions will have to be pondered onlater in the day, the only serious answer I've fallen upon is that I'm going to let my daughter have a full day at her school nursery as well as her free morning sessions. This is only due to he fact that she has been crazing my gear box about having a packed lunch. She wants to take grapes, an orange, a banana and a cheese sandwich. At least I can be thankful that she has healthy taste.

 

 An eventful day and it's not even gone 2:00pm. Love my life, and I'm not even being sarcastic. Big smiles as always from me.

Two Times With Three Results!

 For the first time for a long time the husband and I had a night to ourselves on Friday. My girl went to my Mother's for the night and I can't tell you how weird it felt. Having said that, I quickly got over it and managed to eat my way through 3 platefuls and a pudding at our local Chinese banquet which was absolutely delicious.

 The husband and I were enjoying our rather yummy grub and talking about intellectual subject's such as politics, (I don't get most of it,) phonics, (I just don't see the point of the added confusion,) and phonic tests on "made up" words. (I mean really?) I actually had to point out the fact that we were being very grown up, discussing things that affect the growth and development of our child. We are actually good parents, (toot toot goes my trumpet) we love our girl and our foetus and obviously want whats best for them both, but it's just as surprising watching ourselves grow up and develop as much as our young! You just never stop learning in this lifetime.

 When we got home after intellectualising, I called my mum just to see how my wee'un was, if she'd gone to bed OK etc, and of course she had, and been as good as gold about it bless her, she just couldn't wait to go and see her Auntie and Uncle's who are much younger than myself, and obviously loads more fun, queue sad 'put out' mother face.

 After the phone call which i knew wouldn't behold any bad news, but us mothers just like to check don't we, myself and the ball and chain sat down to some word games on our phone apps, and laughed at words we'd found such as 'fart' and 'shite,' our level of maturity is quite frankly astonishing, but I love our relationship and wouldn't change anything at all about it. We then went on to have sex...... TWICE! With THREE reslults, if you know what I mean wink knudge. Not something i usually like to discuss but I'm a bit smug about it to be honest. 13 years together and we can still manage twice in a night, I may live a sheltered life but I happen to think that's awesome!

 

 My holiday from work started yesterday and my plan was that during my 5 days off I'm going to try and make my house a little less of a junk yard, so my teenage brother has been bribed round to help me do the heavy lifting bits and my mother has been roped into doing the driving to the tip bits, I may finally have a front room free of crap tomorrow woo hoo! I'll let you know how that little venture turns out tomorrow.

 If anyone has any views or props to help me get a bit more on board with Phonics, I'd love to get a better understanding of them, especially seeing they are a masive part of my child's learning development, please give me a clue. Books, sites, cd roms, anything that has proven useful to you would be a great help, cheers!

Teapots!

Another fulfilling day in the life of moi! My husband has a few holidays in this week so we can spend a bit of time together, and so he could take me out for some grub which I told you about yesterday. But first things first, the first morning with just us two, (our girl being a nursery for her morning session,) and the hubster gets called in for some blinkin hearing test, I wouldn't mind but I'm the one with tinitus.... not him. Never mind though, I took that time to have a lovely relaxing bath, which I promptly tweeted about, slapped a bit of make-up on and felt perhaps not a million dollars, but I reckon at least $48.

The hubby came home in time to watch me struggle with the stupid buckle on my new wedge sling backs, and then we went shopping. Not boring shopping for sprouts and yoghurt, but the good kind where I get gifts. Yippee!

I seem to be having a bit of a crafty type phase at the mo, so I decided that I wanted to go and get supplies, so what d'you think happened? Well I had free reign of the hubbies wallet and could I get inspired? Could I buggery! Highly irritating I have to tell you. I did however come out with a nice new orange teapot! I got a teapot for christmas, a fantastic pumpkin one, but I obviously can't use it because it's far too special. So this super functional one, an by "super functional" I mean a teapot with normal teapot abilities ie: it brew's tea and water, is orange and I just need to tart it up with a pumpkin tea cosy. I love pumpkins. Something groovey about the shape and the ringlety vines, I just love them.

After the shopping, we went to collect the girl and went out for my birthday meal. We went to the local italian restaurant and as usual is was delicious! (Was going to do a review but decided that wasn't for me.) As we waited for our food my girl was watching nursery rhymes on the hubby's phone and started growling out death metal renditions of 'The Grand Old Duke of York' and 'Humpty Dumpty,' not quite sure the table next to us thought they should call a doctor or an exorcist. I assured them neither was needed.

The service was great and I'm always pleased with the food from Salvana's Ristorante, and today was no exception.

What follwed the lovely dinner was my child screaming in the middle of town for no apparent reason, she obviously thought it was the perfect place to let off some steam. I (pause for emphasis) didn't. What a little monster! Then she kept standing in front of me so I couldn't walk without tripping over,  she tried to pull me into Toy Master, (I think NOT!) screamed "stupid man" at the fellow who pressed the button before her at the crossing, and presumed to walk back into our house like nothing had just happened! Shall we play Mickey Mouse game Mummy?

WHAT?

Unfortunately I continued to have a face like the proverbial slapped arse for the remainder of the afternoon only to be cured by remembering I had been bought a birthday teapot. Tea and cake followed this revelation.

This evening I had a lovely time unwinding with my best buddy, my Mother and Sister Number 3 of the first batch with her baby boy. Mother was doing a spiritual reading for my pal, (my mum talks to the other's, she's a bit spooky and uncommonly accurate.) and then she did a spot of Reiki on her aswell. I sat quietly, took notes and ate chocolate biscuits, I felt it was the appropriate thing to do.

Well I'm off shopping again in the morning, I've had a quick scan for some craft ideas but if anyone knows of any good crafty type blogs/sites please clue me in.

Clinging to My Youth!

What a blow! Tomorrow I reach the big 30! No grey hairs yet but the wrinkles are etching their way onto my forhead, around my eyes and on my filtrum believe it or not. I haven't stooped to buying any "miracle" creams yet, and I'm far to fraidy cat for botox. I'm doomed to grow old gracefully and look whatever age I look.

My husband and I have decided to try for another baby, 30 is still a good age, still got a good bit of spring in my step. My Mum was popping out children until she was 45 (I think) and she's still coping. I think 2 is going to be my limit though. I come from a massive family myself, I'm the eldest of 8. I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers and there is never a dull moment! I have to say I love it. I was thinking the other day how nice it is just having my girl but then my head clouded and i got a bit deep. I started asking myself questions like "When I die who will help her with the funeral?" and "Who will she talk to? I can't let her do that all on her own!" Good God, parenting can be so morbid at times. Obviously I don't think she's going to grow up a total loner recluse, my Dad's an only child and he's the worlds best host, he has loads of friends and will laugh and joke with whoever but I just don't know what I'd do without my brothers and sisters. If I have problem's, need a baby sitter or just want a good gossip, there's always one available on the end of the phone. I need to give her somebody to grow up with I think, it'll be good for her. Oooo! Is this my wisdom coming to me because I'm closing my 30th year?

Another celebration subject..... Christmas! Yes I realize it's only July, (I know that because it's my birthday tomorrow whoop whoop!) but I'm going for an amazing fully hand crafted room this year, and I need to plan early if I'm going to get all the tinsel, card and sticky backed plastic that I'm going to need for this seasonal wonderment! I can't wait for me, my girl and my husband (under protest) toget stuck into salt dough stars, popcorn garlands and gingerbread angels all on the tree. Been looking at some lovely retro Christmas books from the library with things in it like sewing your own stocking, making dried fruit baubles and things, really lovely. I now the net is a fountain of information, but sometimes a book is just.... better. The Ultimate Christmas by Jane Newdick has some lovely ideas. My head is obviously seasonally pickled. All this weird weather has my inner calendar confused. OR IS IT MY AGE??!! Well, at least I'll be full of idea's for Yule and if I find some crafty bargains, I'll be sure to let you know. If I get around to doing any of these things is a story for another day.

A Happy Moment

I've had such a wonderful coulpe of days. I can't really recall the order in which most of the events took place but I have a general Idea.

On thursday I recieved a message from an old friend saying;

  "Hello Kyla. I passed you before with your gorgeous little girl, holding hands and skipping at the bottom end of Greengate street. You made my day mate, you both looked so happy and carefree, it brought a smile to my face and a lump to my throat. Had a tough week work wise but you brightened my day so thank you you lovely mummy you xx"

   It was so lovely it brought a tear to my eye. My friend works as a social worker, mostly with children and I appreciate that it must be quite hard to stay positive at times dealing with the things that she has to, and even knowing that such horrible things go on in the world, so I'm glad I could brighten her day. There are some good parents out there, I'm certainly not saying I'm the best but I do try to be good. We may not have all the money we'd like but you don't need money to have a good skip to the library hey?! Loads of fun.
   Talking of skipping to the library, when we arrived there needless to say, we picked out some books. Little'un opted for a story about peas and I opted for a one pot cookery book, this suggests the truth about the family....we all have a good appetite!

  
  On saturday my husband had gone out from early afternoon until early hours of this morning. He's in a band and so gigs fairly regularly, last night was one such gigging night.

   My little woman and I had a whale of a time and didn't miss him one bit! Well maybe a little. We started off with dancing, my daughter's music of choice is a bit of metal especially anything by early Sepultura, whenever i put 'Roots' on, she goes absolutely crazy and I tend to follow suit. After a spot of groovey moving, it was finally decided that we should have hotdogs, fries and baked beans for tea, but sit on our new picnic blanket in the lounge with it to make it that extra bit fun.
  After that heavy bout of decision making, we then played ball rolling in the living room for a while and I have to you that I find that one of the most therapeutic games ever! No stress just pure fun and I don't know what's so funny about it, but me and my girl don't half giggle. While we were playing that, (with me darting back and forth to the kitchen warming hotdogs and buttering bun's etc.) there was a knock on the door, a bit of a random really. Some fella had moved in two doors down from me, and asked if he could borrow a pint glass?! A strange request, one which I had to decline as I don't actually own one. I have plastic tumblers, halloween tankards, and a few crystal wine glass', which were one of my wedding pressies, so I'm not lending them out to strangers. So I had to send him on his merry way without one.
  Well, me and the girl had our fabulous hotdog indoor picnic and loved it. This was follwed by a desert of buckaroo, frustration, many of our library books being read and a very late night! Extremely bad parenting at 9:45pm, but we were having too much fun to be bothered by such trivialities.

  This morning was also doubly good. Not only was it the first day of my holiday, not having to get up at 4:45 in order to get scrubbing a supermarket, it was also seen in by my husband whipping down to Morrisons for all ingredients needed for a good full English, we are not a vegetarian household so it involved lots of meat! Sausages, bacon, eggs, black pud, mushrooms, hashbrowns, beans and a slab of bread and butter. Lush! He was promptly forgiven for having a social life the night before.

Let It Pour!

Thunder and lightening in the North West today!

 I'm definately not whinging about it because it's my favourite weather of all! I love the sound of the rain hammering down on my kitchen roof. I used to go outside in my nighty and get soaked, because it's still so warm in June, and consequently, the rain is also. I can't really do that anymore however, I'd probably end up being committed which I've got to tell you, I don't really want to happen. Nevermind, when I win that lottery and buy my magical farm house in the middle of nowhere I'll be able to do it again, until then however, I'll stick with going out in my wellies and brolly!

  Thursday is my least favourite day of the week. I have a split shift at work, which is highly annoying. First shift 6:00am-9:00am then another at 6:00pm-8:00pm. I'm a cleaner at a large supermarket, high class I know. It's better than my last job though...pub toilets! Lovely! Fortunately I have an iron gut so not much phases me at all.

  I digress, so Thursday is poop. I just can't get motivated at home throughout the day, I worked until 11:00am this morning so I have even less 'get up and go' than usual. I got home at 11:30 after a dawdle through town, came home took my coat off and sat down for approximately 3 minutes before going to pick my girl up from school. Home again, made sarnie's all the while chatting to the wee'un about her day. Her day apparently consisted of riding bikes and scooters, and painting a picture of stars, infinitely more interesting than mine. We ate out sarnies, got changed into comfortable joggers and chilled out, read books and listened to the thunder and rain. This is where I have stayed for the remainder of the afternoon.

 At the moment I'm typing amidst a mountain of ironing, card crafting stuff strewn accross the table, last night's tea and breakfast pots still in the sink and playdough in a variety of shades, all over the floor. (Laminate, thank the gods!) Do I care? Nope. There are more important things in life than being house proud let me tell you, and personally I think sitting in your pj's, listening to the rain, reading books to my daughter and blogging are definately more important. To name but a few.

  Enjoy your day, don't polish too hard, you'll only make me feel bad for being a slummy mummy.